The heavy emptiness of grief…
I am here once again with my ever frequent companion of grief. It’s a heavy feeling, yet there is an emptiness in that heaviness….to yet another loss. My heart truly aches. My soul aches. I don’t understand death. If you have read any of my previous posts (and thank you, if you have) you will … Continue reading The heavy emptiness of grief…
Still lost…..still alive…..still breathing….
I haven’t written much for a while, and I miss it. I stop myself and I don’t really know why. Some may be the self questioning of my words and what I may have to say…..some may be that it can be hard to write from a dark place (where I feel that I have … Continue reading Still lost…..still alive…..still breathing….
Elephant lessons
I am very lucky to be able to volunteer at our local zoo I am on the Behavior Observation Team….We track behaviors to make sure the animals are doing well and if there is anything unusual or different going on that needs to be attended to. I observe the elephants. These big, beautiful, sacred creatures. … Continue reading Elephant lessons
Writing from within the darkness
I am deep in the process of grief yet again. I still mourn my two kitties who died within 6 months of each other and right after I retired….when I had hoped to spend more time with them as we all aged together (they were 17 years old and had been with me since they … Continue reading Writing from within the darkness
Lost….a step toward finding myself yet again?
I have felt lost in the world as of late. I have not been writing as much, have not felt focused, have wondered about my purpose, life in general, everything. I don’t have an answer to what causes this, really. I can make some guesses….the state that the world has been in, the aftermath of … Continue reading Lost….a step toward finding myself yet again?
A dose of vaccine – a dose of poignant reality
I got my first COVID vaccine this week. I am grateful. There are lessons and messages everywhere these days, or perhaps I am simply more open to receiving them. I looked around at all of us receiving the vaccine ….the looks of fear, relief, hope, fatigue at all that we have gone through. A strange … Continue reading A dose of vaccine – a dose of poignant reality
When to accept, when to defy….
I am thinking these days of all the various aspects of aging. There are parts that we cannot help, that are part and parcel of changes that aging brings. Changes in our bodies, in our memories, in our senses. There are losses – of parts of ourselves, of friends, of family, of partners. And more … Continue reading When to accept, when to defy….
The Gifts of Aging
Here we are in a new year……2021. I write those numbers amazed at how quickly the years have gone by. How quickly my own years have gone by. How did I get to be this old? When did that happen? I remember my father looking in the mirror and asking, only half in jest, “who … Continue reading The Gifts of Aging
Squeaky lessons
Life is humbling…and my most recent lessons in humility come from an 11 year old kitty named Squeaky. I have lost my two 17 year old kitties recently and have been deeply in grief. No way did I think I would be ready to adopt another kitty for quite some time. Then I was told … Continue reading Squeaky lessons
The Call to Solitude
Today I take the journey once again to my place of deep aloneness…. intentional solitude. Christmas is over…. it’s almost a new year. May it be a better one. I live alone, and was grateful this year to have the company of two friends for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. All three of us … Continue reading The Call to Solitude
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