Fat-Shaming 

Why do we fat-shame someone if we don’t like them

Photo by Ethereal Optics on Unsplash

I am no fan of the current political administration and far be it from me to defend anything that they are doing. 

But I do notice that when people are angry with someone, suddenly it seems to become acceptable to shame them and make fun of their larger body size. Can we not be angry without stooping to fat-shaming? 

I am a larger size, and try to work on that, as I want to be healthier. But I cannot tolerate all the fat-shaming that somehow has become more of a routine these days. Someone’s swollen ankles are a sign of a medical condition, yet it’s ok to make fun of them. Bruised hands show that someone may be undergoing some kind of medical issue, and they are mocked for this. 

Don’t get me wrong. I hate what is being done to our country and it’s hard not to let that anger go wherever it wants. We are being divided against each other. Hatred is becoming normalized. Bullying is modeled from the top down. Cruelty is now a new national language. 

So, are we not doing the same when we make fat jokes? Are we not lowering ourselves to that level of insults and mockery? How is that any better? 

Can we be angry with someone because of what they are doing, because of the evil that is being encouraged, because of the immorality of actions and words? Why does their size have to be used against them? 

I protest everything that our country is being turned into. I am furious, but calling someone fat doesn’t help me feel better.

Think about insults that children can sometimes use…like telling someone that they throw like a girl or run like a girl? We call them various body parts. We revert to when we were children and used name-calling to try and feel better than someone else. We bully. We demean. 

Yes, we need to be angry, and we need to act. 

Name-calling is their language.

How about making our language be to call out what is being done and then take action to change this. How about reclaiming our country, its Constitution and everything that we have strived to be (yes, imperfectly, with much work to be done, but at least there was the intention.) The intention now seems to be to dominate, even kill others (becoming judge, jury, and executioner and disregarding the law). I hate this and hate that it is our country that is doing these things. I never thought this could happen here, but here we are.

Let’s look at where we put our anger and how it can be used to work toward something. I am talking about things like impeachment, calling for consequences for evil and criminal actions and crimes, taking back our power from those who abuse theirs…let’s channel that righteous rage and put it to work. 

Let’s remember to look at our own inner bullies in this process.

We demean size. 

We demean age. Being older comes with jokes and cruelty thrown our way, as well as invisibility.

 Body size and age seem to be two ot the categories where mockery and insults are still considered somehow acceptable. And add to those the categories of sexual orientation, preference, and others. 

Things that we are that do not make us less, but stooping to the level of bullies does. 

When you call someone fat, you insult an entire group. 

When we label someone as different, that has somehow become synonymous with being less than or bad somehow. 

Let’s do better. Let’s be better. United, with all of our differences, we can be stronger. Holding each others hands makes it more difficult to divide us. Accepting our differences makes our group larger and stronger. We bring different things to the table. Let’s put them all together in our common humanity. We don’t need to alienate others who are on the same team. Let kindness be our rebellion, and let our boundaries and appropriately directed anger work toward making things better. 

7 thoughts on “Fat-Shaming 

  1. I always, from first year at school, had great empathy for those who were picked on… I always thought maybe there was help …the one who was unusually fat, the one that smelled (now I think she was being abused) and the one who others called ‘retarded’. I would ache for them…and I still wonder how they are. I just don’t understand name calling. But I think my mother modelled kindness and graciousness.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, Jo, I was writing a very long comment when I got kicked out of the JetPack app. I guess the app has a word limit for comments?

    Well, suffice to say, I agree but also slightly disagree with you. I do feel we’ve gone a few steps back when it comes to accepting our differences in body shape and weight. Some of that just might be technology (thanks for nothing A.I. and Photoshop), but at least a bit is due to the Insulter-in-Chief who loves to criticize other people’s looks while extolling his own.

    The fact that he claims to be in the best shape of any president and the fact that he is in anything but the best shape invites ridicule. And serious concern because important that a President be in good shape physically and mentally.

    We can take a lesson from Mamdani. Just before the Nov 4 elections, tRump publicly stated that he was better looking than Mamdani. While canvassing in NYC, Mamdani was asked what he thought of tRump’s comment. Mamdani laughed and said he had more important things to think about.

    Now, if we could only get our media to follow Mamdani’s lead …

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    1. I understand what you mean, Marie, when you write that he invites ridicule. What I hope to keep doing is to use my rage to protest, to contribute where I can, to understand what my fellow Americans are struggling with more deeply, to come together united as the best that we can be.. Together. Against everything that he and his gang stand for. To fight back in the most powerful ways that we can, especially with our votes, and to get back to who I believe we are beneath all the divisiveness that has been orchestrated. It is tempting to want to have him feel the way that he tries to manipulate others into feeling. I just want our country back, with leaders that we can be proud of, who we know have integrity (of course, imperfectly), and to be able to breathe again in a land of free speech and democracy. Rather than spend my energy ridiculing him, tempting as that may be, I want to spend my energy helping to remove him from the position that he in no way deserves or can ever hope to rise to.

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      1. Something that people miss is that even if they feel some satisfaction with ridiculing him, even if they succeed in pissing him off, that brings us no closer to getting our country back. For one, he’s a malignant narcissist and as such he’s incapable of seeing himself as others see him.

        As you point out, the energy spent in ridiculing him is wasted energy. It is energy that would be better served in protesting and working to get our democracy back.

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