Random Gifts

You never know when something magical will appear

In these challenging times in our country and in the world, I find that I treasure unexpected moments of grace and joy.

I realize that I need to slow down to be present for these moments and to appreciate them. I need to stop focusing on all the chaos and pay attention to the beauty all around. 

I’ve had a few of these special moments recently that I am grateful for. 

I’ve had moments of walking in the redwoods and having a butterfly stay close to me on the path for a while, or having a raven follow along with me for a few moments, flying to another branch close to me as I go along. I speak to it and like to think that it hears and responds to me.

I have birdbaths in the back yard and can look up in a random moment to catch one (or sometimes three or four at once!) taking a bath. Have you ever stopped and really watched a bird take a bath? It is its own type of ballet, quite intricate and lovely (and thorough!).

I volunteer at the zoo, and those moments watching and connecting with animals are amazing. I have spent time in front of an elephant, both of us standing still and aware of each other. There are no words for that sacred connection.

I have stood in front of a California condor, both of us looking at each other. Words are not needed. I am humbled by the majesty that I get to observe. When he spreads his wings, I am in awe of the splendor. 

I watch children mesmerized by the bears, sitting in front of the glass part of the pool at the bear exhibit, staring at the bears right in front of them, with the bears sometimes staring right back. This is such a sweet and sacred moment of pure connection to be lucky enough to witness.

I feel blessed to be able to write and have others respond to what I write. Each response is such a delight and a connection that can surprise me at times with its depth. Recently, I had a fellow volunteer at the zoo come up to me and ask if I was the woman in the photo that he showed me on his phone, asked me if I was “that blogger” and went on to tell me that his wife loves my writing! OMG! Could he possibly mean me? Yes, that was my photo. This happened on my birthday, and was the best gift I could have received! To be seen, heard, recognized was such a delight, and which I think can be one of the greatest gifts that we can give each other. He even wanted to take a selfie with me! What??!! This was such a delightful moment and one that kept me smiling for the rest of the day.

I have yet another zoo experience to share. The other day a little boy came up to me with a sticker with a picture of a mountain lion on it. I wasn’t sure what he wanted. The docents (which I am not) have animal cards that they give to the children. I don’t carry the cards, being one of the animal behavior observation team, so I wondered if he wanted a card. I asked him, but he just held out the sticker. He didn’t say anything, so I wondered if he was non-verbal. I then asked if the sticker was for me, pointing to myself. He nodded! And I was so happy to get that gift, and thanked him so much, holding my hands crossed at my heart and smiling. I looked up and caught his mother’s eye as we both smiled at each other. What a lovely random gift. With no idea as to what triggered that connection for him, I was so touched and honored by his gift. I will treasure that sticker.

I was at another protest the other day, glad to be among all the people there. A young woman in front of me turned around, talking about how great this was to do this together, to see each other. I responded yes that it helped us feel less alone. We made eye contact, felt the connection and resonance… all with someone whose name I did not know, but whose heart I met in that moment. 

Sometimes when walking along, there may be a random stranger and we make eye contact. Mostly it’s brief, and we look away. But there are those times that the look lasts for a bit, and we smile, acknowledging that we see each other and are saying hello without words. Those moments can change the course of what might have been a difficult day up to that point. 

 A friend from many years ago recently sent me a beautiful journal that she saw and said made her think of me. How lovely to receive this journal from her, and how lovely that something that she saw brought me to mind. It tells me that I still exist at times within her, as she does within me. I love to call her a sweet nickname that we used to call her in college, as a way to bring a smile and to say I remember her and that I still love her.

My ex-husband and I have lovely email contact on our birthdays and anniversaries. This has been such a healing treasure for me. The love that was there, although different in form, survived, even if it was dormant for many years. I am so grateful that we are in contact again, and that we hold each other in our hearts. 

As I continue to age, it becomes so important to know that I continue to be in others’ hearts, that I am remembered, that I am seen and heard, that there is still love. And that I can also remember to feel that within and for myself, to acknowledge all that I have gone through, and that I am still here, still sensitive to it all, still alive.

My young neighbor, a sweet young woman, helps to raise Guide Dogs for the Blind. One of them that she had for a while, a beautiful black lab named Whistler, connected in a special way with me. (I think we may have known each other in a past life!) When he visits, he comes up to me with such excitement and love. It makes my day. My neighbor says that he looks out the window when he sees me get home and watches me until I walk through the front door, and that he often will look out the window toward my house to see if I am there.

The other day, this same neighbor came over and brought me a beautiful lilac sprig from her garden. The scent was amazing. What is even more amazing is that I lost almost all my sense of smell years ago after some sinus surgery and it only comes back very randomly and infrequently, mostly for vanilla. But, that day, I could smell that glorious lilac and it brought me to tears. You really appreciate something once you have lost it and get to have it again, even for a moment. I have the memory of that scent still, even as I write this. 

Life is not easy, and these times are certainly not easy. I am often filled with anxiety, sadness, frustration, anger, and fear about what will happen. And yet, amid all this, I get these wonderful moments and gifts. These gifts from nature, from the Universe, from God, all remind me to slow down, breathe, and feel the miracles that are still here, still around me. And that helps me come back into my body, helps fortify me for the battles, and helps calm me and remind me to savor each random gift and moment of this one precious life.