Ta-Da!

Celebrating and appreciating ourselves and allowing others to join in!

I used to work with a group of therapists teaching a 13-week course on helping others look at their patterns, their childhoods, their current lives, things that they could work on to become more fully themselves and all that they could be. I’m not talking about becoming all that we can be in the societally defined productive, efficient sense. I’m referring to becoming all that we can be in the fully inhabiting our lives and loving who we are sense, in shutting up the critical voices inside us that no longer serve. These voices were taken on as a way to protect ourselves from more pain, but have since outworn their usefulness, are no longer needed, and can rest now. And perhaps now they can be replaced with kinder, more compassionate voices.

This was an intense course that brought up many feelings, pain, intense memories, and challenges to face. It was a work of love and so rewarding to see people blossom before us, to see them learn to support and love each other and encourage each other along the way, to see them reflect to each other the beauty within that they may not have been taught to see. 

The Ta-Da! Exercise

One of my favorite exercises in this course was called the “Ta Da” exercise. On this evening, each person was invited to stand up in front of the others, face them and look at each one of them. They were then invited to do something, anything, that they could do. It could be a talent, like a magic trick. It could be reading something that they had written. Or it could even silly things that were fun to do and to watch. When they were done, they were to say, “Ta Da!” and then stand there.

The job of those watching, after the performance was done, was to clap wildly and enthusiastically. They could whoop and holler if they liked. They could give a standing ovation if they felt moved to do so. They were to let the person standing up there know that they were special and that what they did, who they are, is great and that they deserved applause, deserved to be celebrated and appreciated, deserved to be seen, heard, and loved. This applause was not for whatever they performed, but really for being there, showing up, and letting themselves be seen. 

So, each person would get up and stand in front of the others. We teachers would watch them transform into shy children in front of our eyes and see them then begin to glow with delight at the applause. What may have sounded silly to them when the exercise was described then turned into a feeling inside that so many of us have been hungry for. What sounded like an artificial exercise became real. This group of people had been through a lot together, so the applause and appreciation were genuine and heartfelt. They had seen this person’s struggles, had heard much of their story, had witnessed their vulnerability, and had come to love them. 

Maybe we can apply this everywhere?

How delightful it would be if we could witness each other in our lives this way more often. 

I think, now as an elder, I watch a bit more closely, listen more deeply, see more clearly at times, given all my years on this planet and all that I have learned. I think that this can especially apply to the painful lessons I have had, as they help me see and feel the pain that others may be going through more deeply. I remember and I can empathize and offer support.

 I see how resilient we humans can be, what we struggle through, and what we survive. We all have had some traumas that we may not always speak about, or even recognize as traumas. But they left their mark on us. 

How amazing. We make it through a lot to reach where we are. Maybe we can begin to remember to celebrate each other even having made it this far in life.

At 71, I have managed, with the grace of God/the Universe, to have lived this long. I am grateful to have been lucky enough to still be alive and to be here to deal with the lessons that aging is bringing for me. I can see others in this tribe of elders who are on this same path. I can begin to acknowledge them more, appreciate what they have come through to be here now and appreciate the special being that they are, standing in front of me. Aging brings better inner vision, even as we may have decreased outer vision. We have inner vision that can see deeper, if not crisper. I can better appreciate the everyday heroes. 

Witnessing a Ta-Da! moment at the hospital

I got to witness a security guard at the hospital the other day, while I was there getting some lab work done, that took time to be ever so gentle and kind with a crying woman who was so upset that she could barely speak. She had been there since 6:30 am and for some reason they would not acknowledge her appointment. I don’t know the details. She might have even shown up on the wrong day for all that I know. All I heard was that she had been there, having been transported by her senior living facility, for several hours. She was sobbing loudly and inconsolably. 

This guard walked with her to wherever her appt was. At that point I left to go and get my lab tests, and when I came back out, he was back at his desk and she was in front of him, no longer crying, and now expressing her gratitude. I asked him what happened. He said that they worked it out to help her be seen today. He had gone above and beyond to help her, to ease her pain. Two human beings on this planet, one hurting and the other acknowledging the pain and trying to help. One was a young Black man, the other an elderly Asian woman. Age and race did not matter. 

This was a Ta-Da! moment in my book. Here was an everyday hero just being who he was and being kind. A quiet hero, but a hero none-the-less. 

I went up to him and thanked him for what he had done. I told him that I had seen and appreciated how he had been so very kind. He gave a shy smile in acknowledgment. If I didn’t think that they might have carted me off to the psych ward, I might have applauded, whooped, and hollered right then and there! 

Yes, he was doing his job. And yet, it was the way he did it, the tone that he used, and the way he interacted with this distressed soul in front of him, that stood out. 

Kindness is the stuff of heroes and heroines. 

It matters how we do what we do. It is applaudable, to me. It is heroic. It can bring out the best in us and others. It can help us remember our common humanity.

Perhaps we can all look around to see more of these wonderful moments and can see how everyday heroes are all around. 

Living life takes courage. 

Showing up for ourselves and others takes courage.

 Celebrating ourselves takes courage. 

Maybe we can help each other hear the chorus of Ta-Da! everywhere, if we only stop, look, and listen.