Welcome to Elderland

Buckle up, buttercup. You’re in for quite a ride!

I have entered Elderland. They gave me the ticket at birth, told me to step right up to the entrance of this amusement park called life. 

First, a brief time in Youthland.

As I entered, I stared in wonder at all the lights and music and people. Everyone looked like they were having fun. It made my head spin. I got on rides, screamed in delight, and ran to get right back in line for my favorites. 

I loved the carousel rides as a child. I would pick a horse and pretend that I and my horse would gallop away to adventures everywhere. 

Then I got a bit older and roller coaster rides became one of my favorites. Scary, exciting, and thrilling to ride again and again. 

Entering Elderland.

Older now, I walk through this park a bit more slowly, paying more attention to the games, the shows, the attractions, the exhibits, the crowds. I realize how this park really is a metaphor for life, full of all kinds of experiences and surprises for everyone.

I have crossed the threshold to the part of the park called Elderland. 

The rides are slower. They still have a carousel, but with more seats for those that can’t quite get up on a horse. The music still plays, although less frenetic. It’s softer now, with melancholic tones at times. 

My ticket has the time stamped on it for when I must exit the park. I don’t know when that will be until it is time for my number to come up. Until then, I enjoy the sights and sounds around me, cherishing each moment more, now that I am aware I am in the last section. 

Elderland has different features and exhibits than I remember seeing before in Youthland. There are attractions that younger guests may not have the patience to go and see, exhibits that require more attention and deliberate focus. This, I believe, is one of the strengths of aging, being able to slow down and look more intentionally, seeing things that we may have missed before. 

So many rides and exhibits!

There is an exhibit hall with all the quilts, home-made jams and artwork done by various members of the community. It’s really peoples’ hearts that are on display. I notice the beauty, time, and love that it has taken to create these pieces. I appreciate them more now as an elder. I see the uniqueness and intricacies of each person’s expression and the courage it takes to publicly display this. 

The Arthur-ritis ride, where we get to experience the various aches and pains that come with aging. We get to keep souvenirs from this ride. The aches and pains come with us. And now more than ever, I realize how important it is to keep a sense of humor. We must keep laughing where and when we can.

The Name that medicine exhibit. We get to guess which medicine each pill is. We get souvenirs here as well, with pill packets to help us remember which pill to take on which day and time.

The Sensuality ride. This ride is slower than the version found in Youthland, and much less flashy. Younger folks would laugh if they saw us on this ride, but since they don’t look at Elderland very much, we are not seen. But we still do ride it. Some of us in pairs, many of us solo. The souvenirs of this ride are often memories that bring a certain kind of smile. 

The Things that you worried about exhibit. It’s a bittersweet exhibit. We laugh at the silly things we worried about and spent so much time on. We are also sad about that and how much time we wasted on these things that don’t really matter in the long run.

The “fun house” called Aging. We step in and it exaggerates our size, changes our skin, making it droopy and wrinkled. It changes the proportions of our bodies, shortening and widening them. It’s a different fun house than the one in Youthland. This one sticks with us. Predicts the future. It’s not one that we can walk out of looking like our original selves. The distortions become our new reality. 

The Scary Monster ride. In the Elderland version of this ride, we get to see what is behind the monsters, which is mostly reflections of parts of ourselves that we have been afraid to claim and to see. The only way to get off this ride is to look the monsters in the face and see them for what they really are. Reflections of our own fears and insecurities. 

The Find the Restroom maze. Fun for a while, until it is not. Elders know what I mean here. 

The Self-judgment ride. This is where we get to see harsh judges we have heard inside of our own heads all our lives. We begin to realize that the criteria that we used to judge ourselves with have been impossible and destined to fail. Once we look at them head-on, these judges crumble. We can finally begin to see ourselves more clearly. 

The Land of Regrets exhibit, where we get to face things that we have felt guilty about and have regrets about. We must be extra careful in this exhibit, as it can become easy to get stuck here. It can be like quicksand unless we can let go of enough of our regrets. We must reach for the tokens of self-forgiveness as we walk through. The trick is that to be able to grab these tokens, we must really believe that we deserve them. This is easier said than done.

The Reality of Mortality exhibit. We get to meet those people in our lives that have passed away. We realize that they are letting us know that we will be joining them in the not-too-distant future. Once we enter this portion, there is no going back. We have approached the beginning of the end. 

A Surprise!

What we have not been aware of is all of the love tokens that we have collected along the way. The light from them glows from within us. We can see them now, with their golden glowing light. They calm us, and give us a sense of peace. This, we now begin to realize, is what this ride and journey have been about all along. Love. Love given and love received. 

Love has been the purpose, but we had to learn that on our own. We had to go through all the lessons that came with that. Those tokens of love stay with us and with all of those that have loved and been loved by us. This, we realize, is our version of immortality. 

This may also be where we find our deepest regret …that we didn’t take the chance to collect many more of these lovely tokens. 

But wait…

Wait, though, we are still alive. We still have time! Let’s go do this while we still can. 

When it’s time, I’ll see you there. Hopefully my light will be bright enough so that you can find me. 

Here, take one of my tokens to help guide you.