45 years ago today we walked down that aisle. “White lace and promises” as the song says. Dreams of tomorrow, of a life shared, of a future together.
Thirty three years ago our divorce was final. A sad day. The end of those particular dreams.
We lost touch over the years.
Several decades ago you reached out to make contact. You were married now, with two sons. And you had some things that you wanted to say. The one that I remember most is that you said that you realized that you didn’t work as hard on our marriage as I had.
What a gift you gave me. I have my own regrets for things both done and not done during that time. I try to have self forgiveness and self compassion for who I was then and that I struggled and made some mistakes, but not out of maliciousness. Rather, those actions came out of not knowing how to reconnect, how to fix things, how to leave what felt like could not be fixed.
We have contact now, mostly email, on birthdays, holidays, and on this day, what would have been our 45th wedding anniversary. You sent me a lovely message this morning. I sent you one back, trying to express all that in in my heart that is sometimes so difficult to put into words.
I loved you then, and love you now, albeit in a different way. You and I came together and walked the path of life hand in hand for a while, until our steps became too much out of sync and we couldn’t find our way back to each other.
Regrets? Yes. Would I do things differently today? Yes. But I am different now, have grown (hopefully) in self knowledge and some wisdom.
And so, on this very special day, I wish you well. I wish you love. I send you gratitude for having been such an important part of my life, and for being in my life still.
You will always be important and significant to me. You will always be a thread in my being. You will always have a place inside my heart and spirit. I wish you blessings’happiness, joy and peace. I wish you love.
Happy Anniversary.
I'm Not Dead Yet! 
It’s not the same for me, for I just never think of those of the past and some people are like they don’t exist and yet they do. The memories are far too faded, like old photos left in a sunlit window.
LikeLike
Yes, it’s very different for each of us. I think it would be different for me if my ex had not contacted me after all those years. I like your comparison to sun-faded photographs.
On Sat, Jun 18, 2022, 12:28 PM I’m Not Dead Yet! < comment-reply@wordpress.com> wrote:
>
LikeLike
You are now a mature, wise, loving woman. You have grown to love not only him, but yourself. Sometimes these kinds of marriages help us grow wise and even more loving of all concerned. You are so lucky and
blessed!
LikeLike
Yes, I really do feel lucky and blessed. I’m grateful for everything…. It all helps us grow and become hopefully wiser. Thank you so much for your response.
LikeLike