When to accept, when to defy….

I am thinking these days of all the various aspects of aging. There are parts that we cannot help, that are part and parcel of changes that aging brings. Changes in our bodies, in our memories, in our senses. There are losses – of parts of ourselves, of friends, of family, of partners. And more losses as time goes by. Losses of singers and movie stars and people that we grew up with. Losses of what and who we have known the world to be. And the changes go by so quickly. So very quickly.

And yet, there is something that I notice can be attached to these changes that I need to really look at and tease apart. They are somehow attached to each other automatically and yet need to be questioned…

I am retired from the career where I spent such a huge amount of my time and life. I am not, however, retired from life.

I am older and my body is not what it was. My body is not, however, ready to call it a day in any way. I still want to move, to be active, to be passionate, to be so very alive. I still love to walk, even though I need to map out my hikes in terms of where the restrooms are all located..! (I now know at least one reason as to why they are referred to as the “golden years”!)

I forget names and sometimes why I walked into a room, or perhaps the thing that I was just going to say. My friends and I laugh about this. I do not forget, however, who I am and what I believe and stand for, and what I value and believe in. I do not forget how I got to where I am and all the lessons along the way – some of which I can share in hopes of helping someone else along the way. If they will listen.

I feel losses more deeply, I think, and appreciate each moment more, even if more of those moments may hold sadness. Sadness, although uncomfortable, is also a gift. The gift that reminds us of our humanity and capacity to feel, to understand, to resonate deeply within ourselves and then also with others. And I also feel those moments of gratitude and happiness more deeply as well, having more of a sense that these moments are numbered and that I have less of the road ahead of me than that which I have already traveled.

I cannot defy aging and the changes that come along with it. I can, however, defy the messages that get attached that may not be true and that serve to quiet and deaden us before our time. I am still alive. I am still here.

6 thoughts on “When to accept, when to defy….

  1. Hi Josaia, The concept of loss in many aspects of our life is a reality during all the stages of our life. And I agree with you, especially when we age. You made me smile on “…map out …where the restrooms are all located…” I get it. 🙂Great points about our values do not diminish with time “…what I believe and stand for…” I wholeheartedly agree how I appreciate the moments more. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and a thought-provoking post.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this post. It’s feisty, wise, and filled with acceptance and protest at the same time. What a beautiful, balanced, nuanced reflection. Brava!


  3. I love this: “I am not, however, retired from life.” This is a wonderful essay, Josaia. You balance what we can’t change (the aging of our bodies) with what we can (strategically planned walks). The Golden Age indeed! I’m not embarrassed to admit that I wear special pads when I go on long bike rides, walks or drives. I’d rather be safe and dry instead of sorry and wet 😉
    As I approach my retirement, many of my coworkers (and even a couple of friends) wonder what I’m going to do with myself. Live, is the answer I want to give but don’t. For many of them, work is life and they wouldn’t understand that, for me, my life is just getting started. At least that’s how it feels. Sometimes I overwhelm myself with the things I want to do: learn to take better photographs with my iPhone, write (of course ;)), sew, knit, maybe take up weaving again. Go on lots of walks. Play with my cats. Have more contact with family and friends. Best of all, do one thing at a time instead of “multitasking” like I do at work. This stage of our lives should be fun, despite our body’s limitations 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you, Marie, for your great response as well as for sharing your hopes and dreams and wishes about your upcoming retirement. May we flourish in our retirement and live full, passionate, fulfilling lives….. Pads and all!


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