I have been trying to work on de-cluttering, slowly. One trick that I have used on myself is to pick one small project at a time to work on, and consider the day a success if I attend to that one project.
Today’s project was to clean out one of my dresser drawers. (I did mention that I pick one small project, didn’t I?)
I began to sort through the items there. This was a drawer that I have not sorted through in quite some time. Some items in this drawer included some old costume jewelry, some lingerie items, this and that.
Lingerie items. Some gotten rid of, some kept, as I work though letting go of that part of myself from back then. The part of me that wore such things, that will no longer even consider wearing these particular items. Enough has changed on my body that they will not fit in the same way. Enough said about that one for this particular day. I am saddened by how I have not appreciated my body through the years, and now it is ever changing. I need to still keep working on appreciating what it is now, how it serves me now, how it gets me around on this earth each day. It is glorious in its imperfections and lumps and bumps earned along the way.
Jewelry items. Some are gifts from well meaning friends that do not exactly fit my style. Some items that were my mother’s, also not my style. Hanging onto them was somehow hanging onto her. But, she is inside my heart, not in a piece of jewelry. Perhaps someone else can enjoy these as I will never wear them.
I think about all the other things that I need to work on letting go of. Boxes of things stored in my garage whose contents I do not even remember. How important can they be if I don’t even remember what is is them?
When I look through all these things, these pieces of my past, I remember. I open up old boxes to find parts of my life past and I let go, much as I open up parts of my past inside me that I need to let go of and release as well. Let go of so that I can step more fully into the present, into now, into this moment.
Some things are parts of my parents’ history that I have tried to carry on for them. It’s time to release those, to release their traumas and history, claim my own and work on releasing that as well, and keep moving forward to live my own unique life.
I see now why I pick just one small project for each time. It is always more that what it seems to present on the surface. It presents memories, lessons, and opportunities to express gratitude and release and surrender. To surrender what is gone, with gratitude. And embrace what is here and now. And lighten the load of what I am carrying, as I keep walking on this path of aging. There will be a time to let go of everything. Maybe I can start now, so that the remaining trip is lighter and traveling is easier.