Fun at the DMV

Opportunities for connection can be all around us

Now that I am past 70, I must go to the DMV in person to renew my license. From now on, I can renew it for only 5 years at a time rather than the 10 years that I have been used to. I suppose they want to make sure that you are not losing it, in case they need to take you off the road. I get it, but it is humbling. 

I have never enjoyed the DMV, and that has not changed. Walking in, I was once again amazed at the crowd, the busy atmosphere, the constant mechanical voice letting us know which number was being served and at which window. I had made an appt and walked up to let them know that I was there. I was early, which is my preference for this type of thing. I was informed that I was too early and had to wait to register until just 10 minutes before my appt. 

So, I took a seat to wait to check in, still glad that I had arrived early, found parking, and did not get caught in traffic. I try to focus on gratitude where and when I can these days. 

I was called when it was my turn, answered their questions, and took the eye exam. I looked at the woman helping me and could feel her fatigue, even though it was still quite early in the day. I spoke to her, saying that she must want total quiet once she gets home from work, after dealing with the crowds and noise and general feel of the place. I told her that I understood, having been a social worker in my career, that I did not want to speak with a single soul upon arriving home from work and could see how she might feel that way as well. She stopped what she was doing, made real eye contact, said Oh yes, and that as soon as she gets home, she went directly to her couch to sit and do some mindless scrolling on her phone, not speaking to anyone for a while.

 We finished and she sent me on my way to get my photo taken (or rather to stand in the long line of people waiting to get their photo taken). 

Is it intentional, I wonder, to have our photos taken after we have already been through their process and most likely not feeling our most patient or kind, and certainly not looking our best….but here we were. I spoke to some of the women around me as we commiserated about our experience. It helped us to share and to smile together. 

The woman behind me talked about how she needed to sit down, that she had some back and sciatica issues, how she had been prescribed pain meds at one point, had become addicted, had gone through Rehab for that. Isn’t it amazing how eager we can be to share our stories with someone who might listen? 

I could tell that she was uncomfortable just standing there, trying to find something to lean against.I asked her to please go ahead of me so that she could get through at least a bit quicker. It’s not much, but it was a little something that I could offer.

Up I stepped to the counter. The young man there was processing people quickly as he could, taking photos, gathering signatures. I mentioned that he seemed to be doing remarkably well with his smile while working at such a pace and with so many people. He seemed to appreciate that, then took my photo. He asked if I was ready. (Well, I thought to myself, there’s not much that I can change about the way I look, so yes, I was ready.) He took the photo and we were done. 

I drove home, glad to be done with that, amazed that I was home in about an hour and a half after my scheduled appointment time. Somehow I thought that I had been there much longer than that….much longer. 

And yet, I was pleased to have connected with a few human beings sharing that moment in time, sharing that experience of being at the DMV, and stopping the madness for a few moments to breathe and to connect. 

That, I think, is a gift that we can give to ourselves and to others. Wherever we are, we can take a moment to look around and see who is there, who may appreciate a smile and kind word, who may have a better day because of it. I helped myself that day to feel less like a number or a faceless being just being stamped through a process. 

We are so easily lost these days in the crowds, the impersonal (if efficient) processes that we must go through. The least that I can do is to try and make it a bit more pleasant for myself and maybe another person. We are there, sharing a moment. Why not look at each other for that moment, say hello, and be present before we go our separate ways.

As I continue my aging journey, I ask myself isn’t that what life is…a brief few moments. Perhaps we can remember to stop, to see who may be beside us and who we may be able to relate with. Maybe we can create a memory that can bring a smile, however brief. A moment of eye contact can help us to step out of the hustle and back into humanity and back into our bodies…even at the DMV.