Your Character Shines Through

Our essence shows itself if we pay attention

These are such challenging times in our country and in the world. I try to figure out the balance between staying informed so that I can participate, where and when I can, but also taking time away from all the news to re-center myself and find some balance. I look for stories that can help me through a bit.

So, let me tell you a little story, a story that happened this past week that is still echoing inside me.

My neighbor called me to tell me that a man had just been in her back yard, someone that she didn’t know. She said that he looked a bit disheveled, was carrying a bucket, and looked like he was picking things up. She went outside to check in with him. He talked about having been trying to pick up some things, having fallen, become lost and then climbed my neighbor’s fence to get back onto a road. She spoke with him for a while, found out his name and a bit about him, what his work had been earlier in his life. She could see that he was not harmful but perhaps confused. She directed him onto the road and then noticed that he had come to my front door for a few minutes before going on his way. She called me to ask me to check outside my door to see if everything was ok.

I looked outside and saw no one, so I assumed he had moved on. I stepped outside to look around and once again saw no one and then talked with my neighbor who had come out to talk with me. As I was walking back into my house, I noticed something.

I have been leaving a box of treats out this holiday season for the delivery folks to thank them for all their hard work. It has been such a pleasure for me to do this and to even be able to sometimes get a glimpse of them looking through the box for what might be their choice for a snack. 

There, carefully placed on the top of the treats, were two one-dollar bills left in plain sight. Apparently our visitor had taken a few treats, which I was hoping that he would, but had also decided to leave some money for them. This touched me in so many ways. I know nothing about this man, but I know his character. He wanted to pay for what he took. He wanted to be fair and not take things just because they were there. (I would have been happy to have had him take some treats, of course). I don’t know this man, and yet I know a lot. I know what code he lives by. I know what some of his values are. And I know that he has integrity and honor, even with whatever it is that he may be going through right now.

That got me thinking. Who we are, deeply, shines through. Who we are in character stays and can be seen by those who take the time to look. How easy it may be to judge others by their appearance or by whatever circumstances that their lives may have taken them to in the moment, without knowing what lies beneath what we can see. 

In my many years on this earth, I have learned (and am still learning) that there is more to see than what we may initially perceive. People have lived lives that we have no idea about and they may be battling demons that we cannot see, and yet, they still retain who they are at their deepest level. His character shone through. His integrity shone through. Who he is in essence did not change due to where he was in circumstance. 

I felt as if I had received such a gift from this stranger. Here was a reminder to stop and look long enough to see who someone is at their essence, to not let fear dictate my vision, to not let different circumstances and appearance alter my ability to see the true essence and character of someone…whether it be to assume someone’s goodness because of how well they may dress, or how smoothly they may speak…or to assume danger based on differences that could be due to life events that may happen to us all. 

We are all here, doing what we can, coping as we can. Everyone has a story. Maybe we can take the time to hear them, to see them, to connect, to realize that their voice may be quiet, but their character strong. Maybe we can even do this for ourselves, with our own story and struggles. (Those self-judgments can be so very critical.) 

Stop, take time to see and hear. The world is harsh enough these days. Let’s be kind where we can. Let’s take time to see true character shine through.