So this aging thing is quite the challenge. My latest discovery – my hair is thinning and coming out more. I had this happen once before, where the amount of hair coming out was very noticeable. I checked it out with the doctor….no real answers except that it can be part of aging. Yay….not.
So, I like to think of myself as having some depth….but it turns out that I can be quite upset about the surface ‘trivial” things as well. I do not mean to minimize the feelings around hair loss, but in the grand scheme of things…..not so huge, right? Except that at this moment, it is. I feel the pain of yet another sign of things breaking down, changing, fading, sagging, wrinkling, and now thinning (not that my body is thinning, of course….!)
So, what is this about? It is about yet another loss, yet another grieving for part of me that has been one of my strengths. Yet another piece gone of what I used to feel was attractive about me. Yet another part of what feels like sensuality. Yet another part of youth to say goodbye to and grieve. I used to be self conscious of how I looked from the back because of my perceived size, but now add to that the thinning hair and my scalp showing through at the back of my head. How silly I can be. And yet, this is real for me. I believe it adds to all the losses that do come with aging. I have lost many friends, ex-partners, family, my career (having recently retired – but that will be another post..), pets (I lost one of my two 17 year old kitties in June and my remaining kitty has two masses in his liver that we are monitoring), sense of purpose and structure that my career as a social worker gave me (not to mention all the losses with the pandemic), relationships (I am old enough now to choose being alone rather than being in a relationship that does not meet enough of my needs), some friends (I am more picky these days with who I spend precious time with as I realize more and more how precious each moment is). And I redefine who I am, what my purpose and passions are now, and how to navigate this stage of life…..with an ever increasing awareness of death.
How brief this life is – and yet so rich and full. Of everything…joy, pain, delight, grief, loss, light, dark…..and all of it is important. All of it is necessary, I believe, in order for us to fully appreciate and fully live our lives. I appreciate it more now than ever now that I am feeling closer to the end …..And so I live, embrace each moment, feel each joy and each loss, and always…always….laugh as much as I can.
So, hair goes nothing…..!
I'm Not Dead Yet! 
Yes, all these losses but they are part of who we are, and you can’t have life without death, without letting go. Given your interest in writing about aging, check out the publication Crow’s Feet on http://www.Medium.com. There’s a lot of great reads but maybe you’ll consider submitting to Crow’s Feet as well 🙂
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I would love to submit to Crow’s Feet….. I’m really new to blogging so still figuring all this out….. Thank you! So excited to be connecting with you all!
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I’ve found a really lovely and supportive writing community through WordPress. Just be patient with yourself and don’t be shy about asking questions. One way to grow a community is to visit the blogs that your favorite bloggers follow. You might start seeing a big circle of bloggers who follow each other. That’s always a good sign 🙂
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Thank you. I feel like such a beginner to blogging that I sometimes don’t even know which questions to start with! I appreciate your suggestions and and will start checking out more blogs. I would love to join that circle!
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You’d be welcomed 🙂
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😊
On Sun, Nov 15, 2020, 12:55 PM I'm Not Dead Yet! wrote:
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Thank you!
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Nice to meet you, Josaia! I began my blog about two years ago and this journey has enriched my life in more ways than I ever expected. I have met very kind, interesting, supportive bloggers in this community. I have subscribed to your blog. I look forward to learning more about you.
I was going to leave a comment on your “About” page. I don’t know whether you can toggle ‘comments allowed’ on your About page on your theme? For the first 6 months of blogging, I did not have a ‘comments’ section until another blogger made me aware of this. I still find it a learning curve navigating the technology on WordPress.
A thought-provoking post on ageing, Josaia. You bring up great points about “losses” and ageing. I especially love your last two paragraphs. Grateful for the time we have.
Welcome to this community! Erica
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I’m so excited to be here and learn more about you as well. Any comments or suggestions about blogging are welcome…. I’m a true beginner! And I find this aging journey quite the ride…..I want to write a book about it as well. Here we go….
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